


Various Points in Time

by OtherCat



Series: AndromedaGate [5]
Category: Andromeda (TV), Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-06-26
Updated: 2006-06-26
Packaged: 2018-09-15 13:43:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9237596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtherCat/pseuds/OtherCat
Summary: Various snippets of Harper's adventures in Atlantis.





	1. Paperweights and Hand Grenades

Kolya caught the object. "What is this?"  
  
"It's either a paperweight, or a hand grenade. Activate it."  
  
The object was rounded and vaguely grenade-shaped, but Kolya doubted Harper would have handed him a weapon. "I see no way to do so, possibly it is a paperweight."  
  
"Illustrating a point here. Think 'on' at it."  
  
Kolya's eyes narrowed. "This is thought activated?"  
  
"If you have the right ID. No ID, no activation."  
  
"I don't believe you."  
  
" _Fact_ isn't contingent on belief, Kolya. The Wraith weeded anyone out of your gene pool who might have been able to use your Ancestors technology."


	2. Food Scarcity Issues

"You know, on any ship I've been on, I've never had this much trouble over this," Harper said, which wasn't precisely true. "And I've been given permission."   
  
"I don't care," Bates said. "Haightmeyer can take her fancy psychology degree and stick it where the sun don't shine, I don't _care_ if having a cache makes you feel more in control of your environment. Stop hoarding supplies in boltholes.”   
  
"Hah. She's not the one that gave me permission." Harper grinned. "The Major did."   
  
"Oh well, that makes everything different then," Bates said sarcastically, and stalked off in search of his CO.


	3. The Boom

Harper set his wishlist down on Dr. Weir's desk. "This is what I'm going to need. The casings I can make from scrap.”  
  
Elizabeth scanned the list apprehensively. "Mr. Harper..."   
  
"You have a gas giant out there that's just the right size to be ignited. If that sounds too risky for you, I'll come up with a Plan B."  
  
"I--I'll have to think about this," Elizabeth said. He seemed so young at times, but now he seemed as old and ruthless as a Tok'ra operative.   
  
"No problemo, Dr. Weir," Harper said with a cheerful salute, and left her office.


	4. BSOD

The auditory nerves came online first. His eyes were still seeing blue with text scrolling upward, telling him what was damaged, and what was being fixed.

"How is he?" Rodney. Still sounding freaked.

"At the moment his vital signs are stable." Carson. Calm and reassuring, but that wouldn't work with Rodney, which Carson had to know. Harper however, wasn't in a position to point this out.

"What about his implant? What about the nanites?"

"The implant's what saved his life. The instant the neural net detected the nanites it started quarantining the infected areas--like a virus blocker I suppose."

 


	5. The K Word

He looked at the mess of tangled wires and burnt out crystals. "I'm sure we can kludge this together--" Kavanagh said absentmindedly

"We can _what_ this together?" Context and the fact that Kavanagh wasn't from Harper's end of time--and wasn't an uber--were the only things keeping Kavanagh from getting a fat lip.

Kavanagh blinked at him owlishly, obviously confused. "Kludge it together--jury-rig it with spare parts."

"Huh. Never heard that word used that way before. Sure," Harper said, feeling a bit sheepish.

"How have you heard it used?"

"In the context of 'nigger.' From Nietszcheans, mostly."


	6. Harper is DONE with Heroism

"You know what? Don't _ever_ do something like that again," Harper said some time after the fact. Rodney and Zelenka were still sleeping off the really good drugs and Weir was being a good little Triumvir elsewhere, so that left Harper.

Sheppard started to protest. Harper held up his hand. "No. Shut up. The Harper has spoken. No more death-defying heroics or else. Been there, done that, never want to deal with the fall out again.”

John tried for a trademark smile, but failed. "There wasn't any other way."

"Bullshit," Harper said flatly.

"There _wasn't._ " More quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah."


	7. A Force to be Reckoned With

Ronon was doing a complicated kata with his new toy.

John wasn't jealous. Really. "You never made _me_ a forcelance." And he wasn't pouting either.

Harper looked up from his computer. "You can use a quarterstaff maybe?"

"Can you? McKay regularly kicks your ass," John shot back.

Teyla, attempting to play peacemaker said, "They're both showing a great deal of improvement."

"Unlike certain military officers." John glared, but knew it was Teyla's lifted brow combined with a head tilt that made Harper back down.

"Um. Let me make it up to you--there’s this weapon I’ve been working on--"


	8. All I Want to Do is Skate pt. 1

Daniel realized he hadn’t seen Vala in a while. Before he could ask where she was, Lt. Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay entered the room. "Has anyone seen Harper?" McKay demanded. "Two hov--Personal transport prototypes are missing."

"Harper checked them out a half hour ago."

"I think I saw them--Vala and Harper--talking this morning," David said.

"He agreed to let me run more tests! If he breaks his head open, I'll _kill_ him!" Rodney said.

"I keep telling you," Sheppard said. "That nodding thing? Doesn't mean 'I agree,' it means 'if I nod, you'll eventually stop talking.'"


	9. All I Want to Do is Skate pt. 2

"Vala and Harper were talking?" Daniel asked, feeling adrift.

"What were they talking about--never mind, I know!" McKay said before David could get a word in. "He'll be on the East Pier." McKay glanced Daniel's way. "Bring a shovel, you'll need it to scrape your girlfriend off the deck," and left the room at a ground eating trot.

"Vala's not my--" Daniel protested before he heard the meaning behind the content. Then things started adding up.

Before he could panic, John said, "Harper's a good teacher, he won't let her go splat."

Daniel wasn't exactly reassured by that.


	10. All I Want to Do is Skate pt. 3

Vala's cheeks were wind burned, her hair mussed, and her eyes glowing. "Such a funny little man, he was quite a lot of fun--do you think I could keep the hoverboard?"

"Vala, you could have been killed!"

"Nonsense, I've always had excellent balance you know. Harper was *very* impressed with how quickly I learned to use the board--"

"I'm glad to hear it, but you aren't keeping that hoverboard." The image of her careening down the halls of the base wasn't pretty.

"It's a prototype. I could test drive it, it would be very scientific."

"No. Just--no."


	11. Radio Free Harper

Sounds that couldn't always be attributed to horn, percussion, reeds or string thundered, popped and howled in accompaniment to voices that chanted, sang or screamed. The cacophony was nearly unbearable. "Find a way to turn that _off_ ," Kolya shouted at Ladon.

"I'm trying!" Ladon said, frantically tapping at the keys.

"And that was 'Galang' by Maya Arulpragasam, 'London Calling' by the Clash and 'Another Brick in the Wall' by Pink Floyd. Welcome to another hour of Earth's greatest hits on Radio Free Harper! We'll be taking requests for the next forty five minutes so just give the Harper a call."


	12. Outer Limits

Before Ladon's eyes, the peculiar phrase, _do not attempt to adjust your television set, we control the horizontal, we control the vertical_ repeated endlessly. When he attempted to fix the problem, red text flickered across the screen, _I SAID DON'T ATTEMPT TO ADJUST YOUR TV SET MORON!_

McKay began to laugh, sounding slightly hysterical.

"What is the meaning of this!" Kolya demanded.

"He's taken over the system and locked you out," McKay said maliciously.

"Who? Sheppard?" Kolya barely restrained himself from wiping the gleeful look off the scientist's face.

"No. A...refugee we took in. An engineer and computer expert."


	13. For Just 3,399.99 Guilders It's Yours!

After a while, Harper started doing late night television-style ads. John thought it was kind of frightening that infomercials still existed in Harpers time.

"For a limited time only, you too can have this commemorative plaque of the invasion of Atlantis! Call now, and you get a free 'I fought jack-booted thugs and all I got was this stupid T-shirt,'" Harper said in the smarmiest sales pitch voice John had ever heard.

John snorted, and turned his radio on. "What color is the T-shirt?"

"You can choose between either black with silver text or red with black text!" Harper said.


End file.
